Rory: What does a stroke feel like?
Lorelai: I dunno. Bad.
(from "Lorelai's Graduation Day")

Luke: Ow!
Lorelai: Luke, are you okay?
Luke: Stupid box! Stupid lamp!
Lorelai: Hey Luke, are you being attacked by your possessions again?
(from "Lost and Found")

Luke: Why, what was wrong with that one?
Jess: It was pink.
Luke: We can paint it.
Jess: You mean I can paint it.
Luke: We can paint it together.
Jess: Great, then we can hold hands and skip afterwards.
(from "Lost and Found")

Lorelai: So, um, basically everything here is chicken. You’ve got garlic chicken, Kung Pao chicken, Szechuan Chicken, chicken in brown sauce, which looks and tastes remarkably like the Szechuan Chicken except it’s got these red peppers in it and if you eat them, you die. Plate?
(from "Lost and Found")

Dean: I’m fine with the whole hating him thing, thank you.
Rory: I just think it’s a waste of energy.
Dean: You know, I’ll have a PowerBar.
(from "A-Tisket, A-Tasket")

Taylor: Okay, I have ten dollars. Do I have fifteen?
Jess: Twenty.
Taylor: Twenty dollars, do I hear twenty-five?
Dean: Thirty.
Taylor: Okay, see, you boys don't seem to understand the way this thing works.
Jess: Forty dollars.
Dean: Fifty dollars.
Taylor: Excuse me, have either of you noticed how tiny this thing is?
Jess: Seventy-five.
Taylor: Now we’re not talking cents gentlemen, we’re talking dollars remember.
(from "A-Tisket, A-Tasket")

Lorelai: You are stubborn.
Luke: I’m stubborn?
Lorelai: Yeah, you’re stubborn.
Luke: You’re Miss Flexibility over here?
Lorelai: Hey, I can be flexible.
Luke: Please.
Lorelai: I can. As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.
(from "A-Tisket, A-Tasket")

Rory: Why are you only nice to me?
Jess: Excuse me?
Rory: An hour ago you were totally screwing with Dean and now you’re totally nice to me.
Jess: You see, it’s the screwing with Dean - that’s an important step to getting here so that I can be nice to you.
Rory: So it was a plan.
Jess: What?
Rory: The whole bidding on my basket, it was a plan.
Jess: Okay, I’m officially starving.
Rory: And officially evasive.
Jess: Come on, I’ll get you a pizza.
Rory: Answer my question.
Jess: Do you like pepperoni?
Rory: Not going to, are you?
Jess: We can just get it on half if you want.
Rory: Okay, I give, let’s go.
Jess: If you insist.
(from "A-Tisket, A-Tasket")

Rory: The clock is grunting.
Lorelai: This, my friend, is a state of the art CD/clock radio that enables you to wake up to the barnyard animal of your choice.
Rory: That is great.
Lorelai: I have selected the perky piggies. You might choose the cheery chickens or the goofy goats.
Rory: That is closest to a farm that I ever wanna get.
Lorelai: Amen, sister friend.
(from "Lost and Found")

*I get all of my quotes from the transcripts at www.gilmore-girls.net*

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